i may or may not have a boner. what are your thoughts
i'm sorry if your life is a sore subject
Just threw up in airport security. Happy holidays.
I make my boyfriend pay for half of my birth control. We call it his monthly rent.
She was giving me great head...... until I asked her how much this was going to cost.... she left abruptly
so are you any less fat since you started doing blow?
Thanks, college. Tonight's decisions brought to you by margs in a nalgene.
I chugged a beer while I was riding him and he told me it was the sexiest thing he has ever seen. this guy knows class when he sees it.
He made me write my name on his wall in crayon so he'd be able to remember it in the morning
Nothing is better than seeing someone you fucked go to the Olympics. I feel so American.
I like that you're Jewish, because you can rail me on Christmas Eve and it won't be weird.
No gay bar. My eyemake up looks like sex and Im using these dick daggers of mine tonight.
I remember because you made a pirate noise when you came.
You fell asleep standing up against the shower wall
pray to the hookup gods
Randomize
