I think I have swimmer's ear. From his tongue.
you dont publicly announce someones alcholism over facebook. you dont out someone like that.
All I wanted to tell you is that I fucked a guy covered in fake blood, who circumcised himself.
So my game is weak??
If your game is "Lets have sex, and maybe pizza" then yes.
Crisis Situation. How do you have that "we probably shouldn't make out tonight cause i've got an oral herpes outbreak coming on" conversation on a third date.
Showerbowl immediately followed by pullups naked. I feel like fucking Tarzan
My vibrator challenges you to a duel.
I think the fact that I shit my pants, threw away my underwear in a frat bathroom, lost my socks down a drain in the front yard and still got laid... deserves some sort of a victory drink for myself or a blowjob for him since he was such a good sport.
So another one of your girlfriends from middle school had a baby. Thank god you are gay, otherwise you would definitely be a dad by now.
Christopher Columbus didn't sail the ocean blue so I would have to go to class and not have sex with my boyfriend
i want to platonically make out with them, platonically. in the back of this minivan
I swear she is the Mary Poppins of drugs
I mean I faked it but he could answer my texts
He woke up to me masturbating during the presidential address. Now he won't stop making jokes.
We were like one big happy Eskimo family.
Randomize
