Everybody was literally kung fu fighting
Just saw an old man buy two cases of keystone light, a case of milwaukee's best and a case of icehouse. Degenerate alcoholic of senior citizen of the year?
I'm so glad i pay social security
four loko is apparently banned in the us. so i think its time for us to stock up. i already emailed them about buying them in bulk
with your flexibility, and the size of my penis, amazing things are possible.
so, what part of "he's slept with a guy" do you not understand?
Drunk Tina signed up to be part of the crew team and got a text from the captain telling her there's practice tomorrow. Wtf
He told me to put on my big boy pants, then take them off and fuck her before he smacks me with a chair. His pep talks suck.
High enough to ask the woman at best buy if she ever feels like she's swimming. and telling the man outside that he smells like happy juice.
last night we stole an a/c window unit from a frat. gonna be a great summer
Nutrition teacher wants anything i eat or drink documented for the week including dancefestopia. Do you know the recommended daily ammount of psylicybin or MDMA?
He cried & told me I reminded him off his mother. I don't want to talk about it. I want to drink about it.
I've now fucked in every motel room in this small town.
I'm wine drunk & this is not good news for anybody
Well, personally I like to keep my blackmail in well organised folders.
You know you have an interesting job when you go to work and have to Google search "How to get poop out of a dryer".
Randomize
