I'm at his house. He has VELCRO shoes. I'm too desperate to leave...I may need help in thee life dept
I just found out the guys at work had a bet as to who could sleep with me before i move away.
All of them.
I think I'm going to start texting all the people that don't want to talk to me
Her cum face looks like the large marge scene in pee-wees big adventure
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My own mom unfriended me on Facebook.
Pregaming class all semester has made this final review session more like my introduction to the topic.
Maybe I need a light up heart over my vagina like Christina aguilera to get the point across
I mean besides the fact someone got stabbed, I still had a pretty good night.
Just because Aaron is a gender neutral name does not mean I am letting you name your baby after a drug dealer
21 Rideshare Drivers Had to Drive These NSFW Passengers
I woke up this morning covered in blood and peanut butter. I am now safe from vampires with nut allergies.
We found him wrapped up in a giant table umbrella in the bathroom.
Can you explain to me why there are fake boobs glued on my chest?
How's dinner? Come here? You can bring your boyfriend if you're ok leaving without him
Just broke into a house and crawled through a window. Upside: getting laid.
Did we actually play with swords last night or did I dream that?