woke up and she was making me crepes. definitely not the last time i fuck a culinary student
The doctor wrote 'condom retrieval' on my discharge paper.
Climbing onto the roof in a dress and high heeled boots was probably not the best idea, especially after all that Bacardi.
We had sex after spending two hours in the drunk tank. It was really deep and meaningful
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I ended up on the roof were calling it a tie
There is a guy, stoned out of his mind, only wearing slippers and a bathrobe in the library.
He took a shot, then proceeded to puke into the bucket he was iceing his broken foot in
I'd love to sympathize with you but I'm drunk in a mansion
you're a fucking everclear ninja. the whole goddamn formal blacked out. you're the worst dj ever
but I'm the best friend ever. I got you laid
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Hi future me, I saved you a big mac under the bed.
We fed him just...so many bright colored crayons when he was blacked out. I hope he looks at his shits because this could be all for nothing
Haha he puts me in a mood mix of annoyed and... "just get in my pants"
I apparently used the line "I'm a bouncer too so i would know if I were too drunk" then they asked me to leave.
It's like you know you got fucjed up when you wake up and check fir your own pulse
Is it totally terrible that I just signed up for classes and already found the guy I'm going to bang??