I am in a vortex of obligation.
I just queefed in yoga class and now the old man next to me is smiling at me.
as soon as you compare a person to an animal, all sexual interest is out the window
Too late. I'm going over there. I'm a bad example for all women: Do as I say, not who I do.
29 Unspoken Rules Of “Bro Code”
New beer pong partner names "Bus Boys" ... We clear tables
Im doing kagels to the beat of Christmas music... "Jingle Bells" is hard. Try it.
just found a sign outside my brothers door "not going to church, don't even try" and he is covered is vomit in his bed.
Not only do I have sand in my ass, but a crab pinched me while we were fucking. Still totally worth it.
Dude how the fuck are we gonna get the lawnmower outta the pool?
23 “Girl Codes” Guys Probably Don’t Know About
your stepbrother is rimming his martinis with coke... keeps saying "thank god its tuesday". where does funemployment end and intervention begin?
ok... i just had to be reminded that people in animal costumes were feeding me shots at the bar.
Is it possibile to sprain your taint?
She was that bad?
Btw if you ever get emails that pretty much contain 'bwahhhhh jatkkvsweuo' it's safe to assume it's me.
I sat on my couch last night watching What Women Want, eating ice cream, and sobbing "why doesn't she like me?" Why was I born a man?
LEAVE ME AND MY NIPPLES ALONE