yo i just woke up i feel so weird, and the absolut is still fill, so is the 30, what the fuck did we drink last night man? And will you please come out of the bathroom.
Bro... we didn't even hang out last night??
nothing makes up for a small, perpetually flaccid penis quite like a British accent
Not only is chick snoring like a 48 year old man but she's farting in rhythm
I'm pretty sure "Like A Prayer" will forever remind me of drunk nights & pants down around the ankles
She sang Bad Romance to me. Not really the answer I was looking for.
She started crying. I don't think she's gotten head from a sax player before.
Never again. Her vagina looked like a sad old man.
There was blood everywhere. She was pretty good looking person though.
You said you didn't want to drink anymore so you started shooting vodka down the back of your throat using a syringe. Oh, and then you aimed it at my eye ball...vodka in the eye hurts btw.
High school girls are buying me shots. This will not end well.
Guess which frat house I just walked out of! And on a related note... guess who's uncircumsized
You know how most people would take your keys when they don't want you to leave a party? Those 2 girls aren't most people. They took my pants instead.
YOU WOULD BE SEEING ME. IN MY KITCHEN. BENDING OVER MY OVEN. MAKING YOU CAKE.
Wait, that's an option?
When you get shitfaced you find strippers when I get shitfaced I speak to woodland creatures, do you see the dilema?
He's a doctor now.. hope he can cure his small dick