no but I have been chillin' like em' homeboys in the rainforest yo!
i've come to the conclusion that there is no classy way to apply chloroseptic spray to your butthole.
That doesn't help it make any more sense. Because now you've brought pinata condoms into this.
went from writing my paper to watching obamas speech to crushing beers and singing springsteen in a crowd of 100 within 20 minutes. I love this country
You slept with a red coat way too close to independence day. It's just very unpatriotic.
Also, that dude projectile vomiting all over the living room was the perfect distraction for me to swipe the booze and run.
He was handing out home-made business cards that read "finger slamming bitches since 1986"\n
Of course not. I'd be offended if you didn't bring my boobs into casual conversation.
Also cheers for the reminder to check last night's texts. It's been a magical adventure through drunk me's thought process.
He put chocks of wood in front of his doors to stop me from leaving. I'm not nearly drunk enough for that to be appropriate behaviour.
the girl whose rug I peed on is here
I just got fingered in the Win-Co parking lot for pills. How's your meltdown going?
Life achievement unlocked: I just ate a Slim Jim "Lady and the Tramp" style with a guy in a bar.
Appearently I went across the hall last night demanding to ride my neighbors moose... How much did I drink?
I threw up in a wendys bag in her car. when i went to throw it out the window it exploded all over me. No I don't think there will be a second date.