first i yelled "you cant get it up?" and then in the middle of it i opened a Corona
i think i have two assholes
I have before 2 am pics and after 2am pics, which do you want to see first?
last night i found out that my 11 year old cousin used me as an example of what not to do in her D.A.R.E. speech. awesome.
These 29 Nasty People Went To The Bathroom In Public
He told her, Don't talk. Just sit there so I can imagine that you have the kind of personality I wish you had.
Are you scared? I basically plan on us looking like giant drunk skittles
Chef at hibachi place learned it was my bday and sprayed 20 second count worth of saki in my mouth. Not sure it was the right image to share with my kids, but thought you'd be proud.
They sat at the bar while we waited for a table. When the hostess came to seat us, they were shitfaced, and swordfighting wth chop sticks.
you should have seen it. it was just a bunch of guys in togas chanting the username and password to a brazzers account we all share. best thing that has happened to our group
19 People Who Had An Inappropriate Celebrity Encounter
he said he'd buy me TWO burritos if I took my shirt off
The ranger made you choose between a ticket and pouring all the beer out since it was a state park.
I've never seen you that close to tears as you poured out 30 beers.
I think I broke my hip playing drunk ping pong
CRAIGSLIST IS NOT THE ANSWER
IM LONELY AND HORNY
Correction: *I* watched JoJo's Bizarre adventure while he snored asleep on me cock still fully inside me.
Dude, they hit that lizard part of my brain that tells me to fuck people.