Pretty people don't get stds, I knew it
The funny thing is... I'm about to go to the store to buy WD-40 and condoms... That's it.
And before you ask they are unrelated purchases.
i think my mom watched the whole time
we played lady & the tramp with a hash brown from McDonald's....im in love.
21 Embarrassing Stories From Adults Who’ve Crapped Their Pants
And by the way, how is me getting head even remotely comparable to you fucking 3 guys?
all but 2 of were put on probation for disorderly conduct. i know, visiting a hospital when your drunk is really stupid but it seemed like such a good idea at the time
swear to god, "it seemed like a good idea at the time" is gonna be on your epitaph
Take my keys. Load me into the vehicle. Drive. Get food. Come back. These are my demands.
I will call him whatever I please, including flaccid dick on forehead guy but not limited to watermelon cunt head.
With me living this close to Mexico now, Tequila is just a geographical choice at this point if nothing else.
21 People Confess What It’s Really Like At An Orgy
Hate to say it and even though I definitely have a biased opinion but I'm surprised your not, sleeping with anyone else. Good personality, charisma and amazing in the sack.
Feel free to use me as a reference.
I just creeped on air mattress guy's facebook and discovered his ex is the trifecta of evil: tiny, cute, and blonde.
I forgive you, at least you vote. I found out my fuck buddy isn't even registered. I won't fuck a non respectable citizen.
I'll have sex with you for tacos. I don't care, man.
Do you think you can chase a shot with chicken soup?
No ive been in the mountains getting high and baking cookies with a 4 year old