Drank beer out of a hotwheels bucket all night
Fell asleep in bio again. Sometimes i feel like college is just one really expensive nap.
She cried. My mom screams. And nut went everywhere. It was all around a bad situation.
If this herpes test comes back negative I'm asking out the doctor.
Satisfying Perfect Camera Moments
i licked icing off his dick. in front of his sister.
I found your wallet in my underwear drawer......... Don't worry I don't plan on asking any questions
Lets trade lives
And i will lay in bed and piss all over everywhere, drink whiskey and have sex with married bears
I either have a razor blade lodged in my throat or I've been drinking entirely too much Evan Williams.
I just compared his sexting to a plate of spaghetti. And he STILL wants to sleep with me.
This Dog Travel Carrier is a Must
If we're single and alone together, the fuck angels shall sing upon our nude bodies.
My serious response to your Cathy tattoo inquiry- Do you ever want to get laid by someone not wearing a Blossom style bucket hat? Tattoo accordingly.
The Australian strangers convinced me to leave him behind when they started chanting Aussie Aussie Aussie, Oy Oy Oy, and told me they had a bunch of beer at their place.
Listen I'm tryna celebrate your divorce. Sometimes that calls for drinking on the toilet.
Waking up early to fuck the hot DILF the day before Father's Day because I'm respectable like that
you bet i'm gonna rock his four-foot-two world.