he used his one phone call on me and it said "you have a collect call from- LETS GET IT- at the montgomery county jail".
luckily my workout playlist doubles as a masturbation playlist.
NEVER PUT A LIT CIGARETTE BEHIND YOUR EAR
My last two google searches are "shiny things" and "Ohio consent laws." you should visit more often.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
making a list of all the places we've peed. separate list of places we peed when we were stoned
I dunno if you guys are having weird sex or a most accurate bird sound contest but either way stop doin it
you walked in on him eating me out and screamed SHE'LL BREAK YOUR HEART BRO before body slamming on the ground and passing out on the floor
It would seem she's painting a bullseye right in between her legs
Sex and sushi don't even sound good right now... I might be on my death bed. To my Liz, I leave my extensive movie collection and my drinking supplies. To Olive I leave my car. Cause every Scottish terrier needs a 2010 Camaro.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I rammed pretzels and Jell-O shots down the throats of those I loved.
Him showing up yesterday was like a giant ego stroke for my vagina.
the guy in front of me in walmart is buying a blowtorch, potato chips, and condoms. I'm curious and horrified at the same time.
Seeing someone hit Themselves in the balls with someone else's hand is amazing. I love being the sober one
OMG. When you threw the used condom on your floor you threw it in my purse!!! I just went to grab my headphones and it was stuck to them!
I had to remind him last night as he had his arm around me, "We hook up, we don't cuddle!"
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