Got separated, got a half bj, got dropped off in random part of the city, don't tell anyone
yesterday i saw a blind man guiding himself into a NYC tour bus... and i thought i waste money
i'm high and 74% sure there's a monster in my closet
I didn't realize how much I missed him until his balls were back in my mouth..
Can you pinpoint the moment you decided it was acceptable to trade blow jobs for beers or was it a gradual slide?
You need 4-7 business day to recover from a fingering like that.
This morning two of his housemate threw confetti over me, started singing and handed me a make shift trophy out of cereal boxes and beer cans that said 'Harry's Virginity' on it. Fucking brilliant!
I'm just planning on experiencing Disney as adult style as it gets. Drinking bloody mary's at dawn and telling all the kids waiting in lines how badly their future sucks and that Santa isn't real.
I may or may not be negotiating a deal of baked goods for socks...keep you posted
PS- I just ordered a two man zebra costume. Would you like to be my back end?
She just walked up to him and was like "you should fuck Angela" and it worked! She is the ultimate wingman
Three Asian guys got on the elevator with a handle of Hennessey and a sleeping bag. This is not the start of a joke.
He snorted adderall on my table. I have a feeling he's not trying to buy me flowers
I like to oil my gears with cheap vodka and strangers
well true... there's not a real discreet way to masturbate in public
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