i kinda do this "flirt with girls and pretend to be a hot white guy named chris" thing
My fight-or-flight response is really more fight-or-fuck
2am update: i think I'm in Mexico but I found a dennys. Everyone but this cute family of 4 is speaking Spanish. Cute family of 4 is helping me out.
She fucked me for a ride to the airport. If this is what the rest of college is like, I'm never graduating.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I think the pivotal moment was when we used the see and say as a drinking game with shots of whiskey. It was all downhill after that.
Euphemism? No, "pantsless vodka yoga" is a legitimate pastime of mine
I got my dick out in a gay bar for just one free shot. I didn't know I could be bought so cheap
Hey! I need booze. And penises. And a lot of mistakes that I will regret in the morning.
All I remember is dance battling with a man named tom the entire time who kept buying me drinks so id say it was a success
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
future reference: when you get a text that says "WARNING: EXPLICIT PHOTOS BEING DELIVERED. VIEWERS DISCRETION IS ADVISED." you always open the attached picture.
He got naked after doing the Ice Water Challenge and it was still enormous. So, yeah, I stayed over.
Oh my god the guy at DQ just gave me the number 69 and winked at me
For now I'm a single mom monday-thursday and a drunk looking for dick the rest of the week
no dude he sent me cemetery flowers, i know it. they are half dried out roses in the shape of a cross, seriously. and he is not religious. so he robbed a freaking grave site for me. am i like an accessory to grave robbing now??
damnit this is what you get for dating guys with neck tattoos
I'm eating an ice cream cone and pooping. Don't know how I'm gonna wipe.
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