This girl I work with, who is 18 btw, invited me to her baby shower. Do they sell abortions in gift certificate form?
He made sure to throw up on the Mexico side of the border while we were in line at the check point. Then finished by screaming you an have it back. You can have it all back.
You told me alcohol would be the death of you then ordered 10 shots of tequila.
He literally didn't stop until I lost count of how many times he made me orgasm. It took three hours.
frankly if you're gonna get kicked out of your place, hooking up with your gay roommate's boyfriend would be the most entertaining way to do it.
We need to get sombreros so I can give them to strippers.
candyland with pharmaceuticals ... what could go wrong
His balls are like really small, like dog sized balls. It was a weird discovery. Ever done a guy with dog sized balls?
YOU KNOW BRAZILIAN BOYS ARE MY WEAKNESS
doctors was a success... no liver damage and I lost five pounds.. we're celebrating tonight you get the whiskey I'll get the burritos.
In 2009 his now husband dressed in a sailor onesie and heels for pride so he needs to REMEMBER how to party
Everyone's impressed that I actually got pee all over his car since I'm a girl and they're a little curious..
Ran out of eye drops right after putting them in one eye. Half baked at work.
YOU CAN'T GET A TATTOO BECAUSE OF KPOP FANFICTION. THAT'S NOT HOW LIFE WORKS
I snuck a teenager into a club last nite, I felt like such a criminal. It was Awsome
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