I find it ironic that im starting my birth control on mothers day.
I found out why we traded puke covered dresses in the bathroom.
I love how my cats smell like pot.
Just had a nice conversation with my landlord while cleaning your puke off my car
He came over while I was in the ER and hung pictures of himself around my house.
yea man just watch out- theres a shitload of broken glass in your bed
Just ordered an appetizer sampler to distract the fat chicks so we can escape
Let's enter the circle of trust. Are we there yet? Ok. If I somehow hypothetically slept with Amandas ex husband...on a scale of one to ten...how bad is that?
I asked you if you needed a ride and you kept saying "no, my name is katelyn"
I consented to having my finger branded. How was your night?
It's like my life is one of those movies where after a bunch of outlandish events that only happen in a movie the girl realizes her true life calling and lives a great life with a sexy man of multiple races. But I'm stuck in the fucked up part where 25 year olds come in their pants.
Didn't shower and drew a couple dicks on my face before I went to work. Boss sent me home. Sacrificed my dignity for a 3 day weekend with you guys.
saying, "have a good fall!" After fucking a virgin boy is good etiquette, right?
And all i could do was bury the part of me that felt guilty for cradle robbing and put on my dick swallowing bib.
If I get my period the weekend your parents are gone i'm removing my uterus.
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