Is it a bad sign when i blow my nose && can smell vodka?
totally poinked my lawyers daughter in his hot tub last night. i figure getting off is just compensation for not getting me off.
Double fisting Gray Goose bottles. We've officially ruined her.
I mean, I'm twenty four years old and I've never paid for my own drink. You can't say that any of your ex girlfriends boobs are THAT great.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
We were naked in bed for hours and we didn't have sex. Either he's gay or he wants to respect me. Neither of which I approve of.
The bartender said he wanted to turn you gay, and we got free shots the rest of the night
I can't even remember the last time I took my own pants off
I woke up and found a doughnut on our front porch. It's not sketchy though. More like a gift from the gods.
Hey will pizza rolls help if you accidentally get a diabetic chihuahua drunk?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Currently sitting in the movie theatre bathroom while she gives him a blowjob in the parking lot. Don't ever tell me I'm a bad friend.
Just at the gym drinking. We call it treadmillcolada
On Friday, can we drink like its Civil Wars times and the doctor's coming to saw off our gangreen infected legs?
Do you remember lying across two tables saying 'go away I'm trying to pull' to me, Sollie and Sean?
Oh. My. God. It is NOT okay to drink Johnny Walker when there is no Jameson. My skull is eating my brain.
We are bad people. This is why we are friends. <3
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