P.S. theres no milk for breakfast, but theres plenty of beer or red wine. you decide.
some guy just got out of his chair quietly. Laid down on the floor and is now asleep in between rows in my lecture hall. He must have had a rough night.
stalking is really helping my grade.. I followed him to a review session tonight
I googled Canada's legal age of consent. I have good news. It's 14. Justin Bieber here I come...
remember when mike pissed in his pants and then put a double cheeburger in the pocketsss of said wet pants for "safe keeping"? yea drunker then that.
It's 5:30am in Vegas and I'm eating McDondalds next to crying prostitutes.....low point.
I was passed out on the dog bed yelling "I UNDERSTAND"
I took in his dog. My exboyfriend still calls me for 2 things, blow jobs and animal rescue. I need to end this cycle
You know what the worst feeling in the world is? Sitting in your 6pm AA meeting still hungover from the night before
The guy who's car I hit last night just followed me on Twitter...not sure how to feel about it.
Everyone is like kids first day of school and I'm over here like I need to stop sleeping with random
Just saw the pics from the bachelor party. When the hell did we go to southie. And why was there a chicken in the limo..? You guys really are my best friends.
In what world does 'I'm awake' at 2:30 in the morning on a wednesday translate to 'let's fuck' in the span of one text? Where has the romance gone?
Andddddd I'm drunk
Andddddd it's Tuesday
That's your opinion.
Didn't know my clit could produce that many orgasms in one night. Fuck my husband; think I might have to become a lesbian.
Randomize
