I thought she had blonde hair
No, Gonorrhea actually
It was confusing and full of hummus
there comes a time in a mans life when you ask yourself, will i fake love for blowjobs? and the answer is always yes
Lots of rum and cokes. Bartender wore my underwear on his head. Lost my keys. Accidentily started a fight. DC is going to kill me
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
May or may not be going home with my jamitor. i'm kiddong, btw, i have no idea. i'll let you know soooon.
Did i actually sleep there? Or did i just get sand everywhere?
I got us a lift home. Payment may require me giving road head, are you cool just chilling in the back seat pretending to be oblivious to this happening?
Jesus christ it's been two texts and we are already talking about dildos
Nothing says "single girl" quite like Pinot Grigio and canned ravioli at 11:30 pm....
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I gave you chlamydia, you gave me a concussion. Now we're even.
This is the second time you've stolen a pet when you're drunk, given it back and cashed in on a reward...I think you have a problem
Gotta pay my student loans some way
Well, I sent nudes with an Elmo t shirt on the floor... so there's that.
So, i might have left my morals back in 2011.
You know what...ii have the turtles...were together....i love these god damn turtles...
did he think i wouldnt notice the naked girl in the backseat
Randomize