I've never watched DWTS before, but this show's got Pamela Anderson, Erin Andrews and Brooke Burke: 3 of my top 10 all time most masturbated to women.
Hungover Fun Fact #4: Eating a grilled stuffed burrito WILL make you blow chunks in the ice maker at work.
So one buddy got tackled at the urinals by national guard members and was arrested. Another had sex in a port o potty with possibly the drunkest girl I've ever encountered. The rest of us blacked out and won a few bets. So yes, the derby did meet our expectations.
If I ever mention marriage force me to Brazil to do coke and strippers until I die.
That's the second time in a week someone has called me to talk drunk you into getting up off the floor. This needs to stop.
pretty sure that drunk girl we saw climbing the stairs is now DJing this club....
You need to stop blackout tweeting at him to have sex with you on the roof of your dorm. He doesn't even have a twitter.
I feel like this is going to result in some sort of tearing in my vagina.
Thats a chance were just gonna have to take
Just saw identical twins riding scooters. Today is not real who the hell rides a scooter anymore
If the fate of the world hinged on some chubby girl getting laid, the president would dispatch me with a fifth of Jameson immediately and then rest easy.
Woohoo! Instead of a pregnancy test you can buy me a burrito
When I was sick she came over with Call of Duty, animal crackers and a handjob. Honor says I can't dump her until Easter
Then he said,"I love you like a sister I like to have sex with."
He walked in on me banging his sister and said "you're both old enough to make you own decisions. Carry on"
He tried to grab your ass, but he grabbed my hand cause I grabbed your ass first. I saved your ass..literally. Your welcome.
Randomize
