using no condom is gross. my vagina has a dress code.
The brown eye won't let me do that either.
all i remember is you climbed in a garbage can and said you were trashed
I just febrezed the jizz on my pants and wore them again, gross or eco-friendly?
Eco-friendly.
Lesbians. Lesbians everywhere.
I just stole a cupcake from somebody's bottle service
And I got $4 when somebody made it rain.
I just totok an inventory of my purse: 1 apple, 1 pair of underwear, 7 condoms, $18 in ones, a check with "for sexual healing" in the subject line, and a 4 oz bottle of wine.
Oh! and a letter from a judge saying I got an interview. Cause that balances it out.
The bartender seems to not like the DD's anymore. I'm sad
i can't invite random hot hobos into my aunt's house.
Thing I actually said tonight: "I want to achieve Ultimate level drunkenness, I'm only at Champion"
Seriously, even though I keep it clean, I could douse it in bleach and set it on fire and still not be comfortable with you actually holding it. It's been in my VAGINA.
FYI you are now my emergency contact at plan parenthood
I only know one person in my class and that's my dealer.
This is like a walk of shame down memory lane.
If he comes over I probably get to fuck him and if he doesn't I don't have to pay him the $60 I owe him for weed. It's a win-win situation.
Randomize
