his prince albert piercing just severely cut the roof of my mouth. can you pick me up at the hospital if he drops me off?
keep it on the DL tho cause i dont want it getting out and it coming off like i kidnapped her or something
it feels good to walk into a CVS and not go straight to the pharmacy counter for plan b. its been a while....
We need to play Chardee MacDennis. Contact me when you have an available date. This is not a question.
Itd be like fucking a waterbed thats been locked in a barn for two years.
Where in the FUCK do you get your analogies
we can't get the sharpie off the toilet seat from where you pressed your forearm with THUG LIFE written on it while you puked until 3 last night
So random question. Does beer act the same as other alcohol disinfectants?
Wait is this black Chris #1, cocaine Chris, or gay Chris?
No this is saxophone Chris
I'll take "things you shouldn't say to a guy you just met in a bar" for 100!
I'm 2 seconds away from smashing the bottle and drinking it off the counter with a straw.
It's 7:30pm and we've already lost someone and had to run from the cops. What the fuck did you put in the punch?
I'm eating pizza in the bathtub
Got so drunk last night I kinda sent a super on point sext to his kid sister...say a prayer man
She was so happy for me that she insisted I fuck her with my Bills jersey on. THAT ACCOMMODATING
are you comparing glasses to pregnancy
Randomize
