I was at the bar last night dancing, puking in a trash can, and ordering another drink all at the same time. Have I lost my dignity?
haha no as long as you did hook up with anybody after that.
... oops
There is somethin about your sexuality that makes my dick do jumping jacks when I see you
I just saw a girl make a shank with the underwire in her bra...
We just spray painted his balls while he is passed out....I cant wait to see him try to figure this out in the morning.
What's your middle initial? I need it for the census. I put us down as "unmarried partners."
Oh my god... you're gay. Ps, its A.
No no. According to the 2010 US Census, we're gay.
Mental note: adding peach schnapps to a gin and tonic does not "water it down."
She's a Laker fan, her sister is a Celtic fan... no matter who wins I'm getting a celebration bj from one of them!
He told her hed rather go bobbing for apples in puke than have sex with her.
Yesterday was just the icing on the rejection cake that was my week
I got drunken sympathy for the whales' plight last night and signed up to give $50 monthly to Greenpeace. Calling to cancel was worse than the hangover.
Hear that? That's the wail of a dying whale. Murderer.
The guy next to me in the library just got a call from his roommate asking him to come bail him out of jail...we need to step up our game.
Tell me why I woke up outside of our hotel room Wearing a cowboy hat and boots in Las Vegas.
I'm over here willing to be the Yoda of fucking but I guess he just doesn't want to be a Jedi.
I got St Patrick's Day drunk on Friday and apparently ordered a Total Gym in the middle of the night
My whole life is a joke
Yeah. I’m starting to see why you drink so much.
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