so the chest pain/shortness of breath/overdose guy we just took to tm hospital is now running down market street from the police in a gown holding his iv.
Its like Laser Tag, but more fun because it ends in sex
We had to be out of the dorms at 730. Meeting started at 8. I woke up at 948. Drunk and covered in glitter.
Coming down off exstacy at a church event. Resisting the urge to dance to the church hymns.
Having sex with her is like doing taxes, Happens once a year and I usually end up paying.
Why are there maracas in the dishwasher?
want to know what my life has come to? I just took a 45 min shower banging on the walls and making loud sex noises so my neighbors think I get some.
He is really real. Like I know where he works, have referenced him with mutual fb friends and I've seen his dick. He's real.
You guys had reggaeton music playing while dry humping? Definition of romance.
I would say that that is the last time I ever drink a bottle of jack in two hours, but really who am I kidding?
I am the oldest one here and I STILL feel like I need an adult. help.
he came over last night and we fucked with the great british baking show on in the background. it was beautiful
My mom heard me having sex with my boyfriend but thought it was the neighbors. She commented on how quick it was. I just nodded and changed the subject
Why didn't we pregame for this?
Because it's breakfast!?!
I should never have to text my best friend asking if she eloped again last night.
Randomize
