Strip flip cup NEVER equals good idea
I want a gay best friend. or apple sauce either one is fine with me
With the way things had been going, I was never more excited for a person to cum
then we talked for a little and he asked my last name which since I have yet to get a fb request I'm 95% sure its for a restraining order
Alcoholism comes in two forms... Us.
It would be been irresponsible not to make cleaning the apartment into a drinking game
No, this time she was diabetic. I think I fucked her into diabetic shock.
You would think the bank would reward me for getting my account down to 3 cents without overdrafting it.
If I could sit on this toilet forever I would totally do that right now
She had like a side ponytail and hoop earrings though. And legwarmers. Like a horrible 80s nightmare. Don't drink and dream, dude.
No, I'm just drunk and was excited cause a hot stranger bought me tacos.
Stay strong! Remember we're too uncoordinated to be strippers to make money instead of being a nurse
I'm not saying i'm drunk
But i'm drunk.
Broken heels while double fisting margaritas, picking up shirtless, bloody men and escorting them out of harms way, the meltdown when I realized I can go without a bra bc my boobs shrunk, the morning vodka red bull you were forced to drink? Which one roped you in?
He deliberately gets me high because he knows I fuck better and then I make food for two. I don't know if I should feel mad or proud of him for thinking that far.
Randomize
