he said i was weird because i want to have sex in public places.
i dont think thats weird i think thats fun
i forgot to tell you, he fell asleep outside my house again last night, but im weird
some 7 year old just told me his favorite rapper was eminem and kim got what she deserved...god damn today's youth is in a dark period
Now that I'm the boss, there's nobody to yell at me for smelling like a bar in the morning.
I just saw a girl in Albersons in spandex and curlers buying PBR. Only PBR.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Soo I have a handle of 100 proof captain, cupcakes, and nothing to get up for in the morning.. This blizzard is shaping up to be a great night.
then she stuck her tongue in my ass
I thought we were talking about reason you aren't going to marry her?
I think I might get 604 tattooed on my ass tonight...
The notification you get from snapchat that someone took a screenie is like a formal declaration of blackmail.
I was super proud of him for making a mature relationship decision, and then I remembered that he cheated on her. With me.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
The guy at the rodeo just told me "if ya don't say none, ya don't get none". What the hell does that mean?
Im pretty sure you just got hit on by a gay cowboy.....
Mom told me you snuck booze into a concert in a cheez its box...I have never been prouder to be related to you
Sending a pic of labia to send to the TN Legislator. Obviously they don't think I know what to do with it so I'm gonna ask them for advice.
My car has a permanent smell of sex to it now.
Already drunk, almost got in a fight with a bunch of irish chicks. And another with canadians. On my way to get a tattoo. I plan to regret this trip.
I broke my dick don't ask me how I need help putting in a catheter so I can piss.
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