hey babe thanks for tonight, it was fun.
to be honest, i wanna fuck your friend.
Yeah true. Damn vaginas. They're ruining the world.
she pooped in my shower. pooped. woke me up and said she thought she farted but it wasnt a fart i went back 2 sleep and found it hours later. no longer hooking up w chicks my moms age.
he asked me if i wanted "a hit" off his inhaler. its definitely time for a new roommate
I dont know if this is a good time to tell you but im actually a freshman.. not a senior
Bring condoms and burritos. The rest will fall into place
I swear she's a drunk klepto...by the end of the night she had stolen 3 bowling balls. HOW DO YOU STEAL 3 BOWLING BALLS?
I want to lick his teeth again. Is that a creepy thing to say?
Yeah. Not my best idea. But I'm hoping for the best . And by best, I mean not jail
I threw up this morning to Silent Night playing in background. It was actually quite soothing.
bought even stevens on dvd and enough weed and pizza bagels to last us a week.. ready to get snowed in?
How do you keep manipulating these men into helping you?
I'm a massage therapist with an oral fixation. It's not nearly as hard as you make it out to be.
Just got a motivational speech from the tacobell drive thru guy at 2am
Want to sleep. Also want to see Alex on MDMA doing really stupid shit. Choices...
You cannot steal the fun of my nakedness. You do not own my nakedness. My nakedness is my sole property and I share that fun with whom I choose.
Randomize
