Non-Jews are for practice
Her friend drew me a diagram of how we could get away with her giving me a blowjob at work.
If you start sounding at all like you're even remotely in love, expect a lecture on the merits of being a single woman with a vibrator.
This is why we're friends.
So far we've hooked up on a pool table, on a public bathroom counter and now in a little league baseball dugout. We haven't even made to a house yet.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I woke up with no pants, someone elses shirt, but my new years crown still on. That is dedication.
I like how I get messages from eharmony at the same time I'm looking for a new vibrator. It's like the powers that be are just trying to make my life ironic.
I knew from the second he called his penis glorious that I was meant to sleep with him
I just took the cheapest shot in your honor
She asked for her virginity back. I don't know what to say
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I hope one day I make out with someone in a taco truck :(
I'm glad I inspire you to reach for the stars
Or a taco
Last night you made me help you pick the raisins out of a kashi bar and acted like it was the most important thing to ever happen to you or our friendship
When we pulled over so you could pee, you made us stand over you and "make a roof"
Just cried watching Wimbledon, worst comedown ever.
if you're the one who put those dollar bills in my bra last night, thank you because I just used that money to get myself a coffee
Hhhaaa He said Peanutburter disinfect lol. Like peanut butter can disinfect stuff. None of those guys are safe
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