Guys are so much hotter at OU. Come my mating season, I am flying south like the geese in the wintertime.
just threw all of the fireworks into the bonfire. thats why there are firetrucks.
so, I mean this in the straightest way possible, but don't you ever just feel like you owe Jon Stewart a blowjob...
All I know is I had a penis in one hand a bottle of wine in the other
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
You seemed more interested in the queso dip than you were in the hand job
i woke up next to a ladle and a packet of chocolate biscuits that my face had melted into one giant biscuit.
We fucked to techno music while he wore shin guards... best sex ever.
Just stabbed myself in the face trying to lick melted cheese off a kitchen knife.
I was just stopped at a stop sign waiting for the moon to turn green.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
God he's so convenient, drugs, an parties all in one person. He's like the Walmart of delinquency.
WHAT IS MY LIFE THAT THE ONLY PERSON INTERESTED IN FUCKING ME IS MY 6TH GRADE MATH TEACHER
He ate me out while watching Fifty Shades of Grey---needless to say I'm locking this down
She abandoned me on the doorstep of her hostel. Turns out you can't bring one night stands into those places. Slept in a train station next to a tramp. He gave me chips. And didn't steal my shit while I slept. So I'm counting this one as a win
Fuck you. Fuck this party. I just wanted to be pretty with a cute little tiara and boys sucking my tits, now i have a hangman game drawn on my face and jello shots in my hair.
I wanted to give you a great birthday party. You know I did.
I wonder if the sex shop has any Black Friday deals.
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