This is why I shouldn't be left alone with liquor and anticipation.
OMFG BINX FROM HOCUS POCUS IS MCGEE IN NCIS!!!!!!!! most. epic. realization. ever.
nah, shes just mad because we went through all her fb pics and tagged her crotch as all the guys shes fucked
ARE YOU ALIVE? usually when i say lets start drinking at inappropriate times you come right over. im worried
He took the lighter and said "this is how I give myself a bikini wax."
My dick was out way too much saturday not to get laid
He just found another high guy at wal-mart. There now friends. His friend is eating a cupcake
True as that may be, are you coming to the birth of my imaginary child or not?
Well he has a girlfriend. So I told him that I wanted to have sex way more than I wanted to be a decent human being.
Its official vodka lemonade jager and whiskey with coorslight is a bad combination of try to forget the work week cocktail ps bring alkaseltzer
That dude with the beard walked up to me, turned my water into wine with everclear and kool-aid, and walked away. Pretty sure drunk Jesus is back.
No more house parties. We're almost fucking 30 years old and I slept until 6 pm.
STOP HOOKING UP WITH SOCCER MOMS! YOU ARE RUINING MY REPUTATION!
What shade of lipstick clearly states, I'm only attending this wedding for the drugs and groomsmen?
All you have to drink is moonshine and ranch. This is bullshit.
Magyver!
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