i believe i can now do shots of gasoline with no chaser. its been that kind of summer.
I can hear the condescending tone from the atm when it asks if $3 is all I would like to deposit
just had a flashback of you pouring champagne into my mouth from someones balcony..
his dad came out and found me sleeping indian style on the couch with my cup balancing on my boobs. didn't spill a drop.
The night started going downhill when I set my foot on fire.
why is my forehead so bruised?
i found you outside knocking on the door with your head because you couldn't lift your arms.
We were dancing and she was clawing my stomach like a fat kid getting to a half broken pinata.
He walks in. We each have a tiki torch. We say, the tribe has spoken. We put his out and then stab him with it.
Yes ma'am. At least you're a warning story I can tell to my kids in the future
I think I'm going to go into my next therapy session with hot client with my fly down and when he tells me about it I'm going to say "how did that happen?!" and then porn music will start to play.
He was like 120 lbs and 20 of that was penis
He's really cute...He stopped talking to me because i pulled my skirt up and peed in a demi plie position...
I can't decide if I miss drinking or you, they are so closely connected.
Last time he showed up for Christmas he went on and on about backpacking somewhere and getting ghonnorreah twice.
I had sex while watching Lord of the Rings last night. I think I just reached a new level of nerd.
Randomize
