Do you think there are girls out there that really do like small penis?
I will fuck a handful of worms if you hold them
Coming down off exstacy at a church event. Resisting the urge to dance to the church hymns.
Told a girl i wanted to feel her bellybutton from the inside... I need to learn how to flirt
He looks like the kind of guy that still collects pokemon cards
mom just asked if we are going to need more kaluha as she pulls 5 out of the cupboard. this xmas might kill me
You don't understand. If you watched a video of the shenanigans that occurred in my life over the past 48 hours you would gasp worse than the girl who witnessed me puking in my bag at the children's hospital
We had sex on the beach. I was completely naked except for my sneakers. That's when you know
I deserve to be covered in dicks
I'm facebook/twitter stalking the guy I just slept with as he's passed out next to me. What a time to be alive...
I don't know whether to laugh it off or be pissed at him..I got pulled over this morning leaving his place and the officer thought my hickeys were hand prints around my neck and asked if I needed to be escorted out of town.
How do you get kicked out of 3 different Subways in one night..
Not very gracefully, that's how.
IT IS NICKEL SHIT NIGHT
*shot. Why
What made you think singing Silent Night while I was puking was a good idea?!?!
To describe how high he was he said, " I'm cocked out of my ape sandwich" so yes...that was some pretty good weed.
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