Have you ever chased with pilaf before? Because dont.
My suggestion that we all just smoke some weed was greeted with a uncomfrotable silence and a 'maybe later'. These are not our people
All my credit cards need to be pressure washed
Just stop talking to douche bags. How do you manage to attract every asshole within a 100 mile radius?
If i could answer that i wouldn't be so afraid to move to a more populated area
My nose hurts from that stripper beating me with her tits
It's like the sisterhood of the traveling vaginas over here
Whoa, I am aware of WAY too many squirrels right now...
You motherfucker. I just had an MRI with a penny under my boob.
Masturbating during the Olympics and cumming during the national anthem really is everything it's cracked up to be. Just thought you should know.
You let someone poor beer into my mouth off of a balcony. Best friend test failed.
Haahahahahahhaaa
My only contacts are booty calls or the club hockey team.
I'm gonna watch porn and nap. I think I really have this Valentine's Day thing down
I think my pickup truck has been used for the sex... This doesn't sit right with me.
dude, he literally lasted one minute. and i paid 8 dollars for cabs.
On the good side I got hit on by a cute college guy. But the bad side was having sex in a frat house for first time in 9 years
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