If I had a nickel for every time my parents threatened to stop paying tuition I would be a very rich man. Rich enough to pay my own tuition.
I made her cum... she sounded like Ray Romano
he was drinking cheap vodka with warm tap water and a packet of crystal light. if that's not an alcoholic then idk what is
she's using motion activated glade air fresheners as some sort of early warning system
I couldn't be mad. She was crying because she fell bare ass into the rose bush trying to pee. So I held her up mid-stream and she peed on my feet. No big
some guy had a sword and everyones crying..it turned bad..fast.
Oh you're gonna love this story. I almost cut off a little girl's pony tail.
you flashed my boyfriend last night so i tackled you to the floor. you may be a bit sore.
I'm at the hospital waiting for my sister to push out her kid. I think I'll roam the halls and shame all the teenage mothers.
I feel like he has a double life, why was he walking around at 3 am with a backpack?
Lets get drunk and then you just wraps me into a present because that sounds like fun after the past 3 glasses of wine I drank
While he was going down town Julie brown, I was eating French fries. True Love
I'm gonna have to start putting baby wipes and a change of pants in my bag. The amount of times I'm scared of shitting my pants in public is too high and I need the reassurance
After this weekend my vagina will follow his penis anywhere. It’s like the pied piper, but with penis
They should invent shampoo and conditioner for sex hair. I would buy all the travel size ones.
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