Is showing up wearing the condom a bit presumptus
Do you ever close your eyes when your having sex with your girlfriend and pretend she didn't get fat after high school?
this dieting is killing me...just started drooling watching a dog food commercial
We are like the golden girls with less cheesecake and more drugs.
hahhahahha. mid doggie-style, i faked an asthma attack. the sex was that bad
This kid is drunk.
I hope by "this kid" you mean yourself and not some child you have kidnapped and gotten wasted.
oh and if she happens to say anything about a cantalope and tissues... just go with it
He walked into my room in the middle of the night, whispered something about the patriot act, and took my tv.
It wasn't so much skinny dipping. It more like skinny walking...through a fountain.
there's still three solo cups of your puke in my basement. so that needs to be solved at some point.
I need to stop drinking alone, I wrote a love letter to my tattoos
My boyfriend's brother just got out of jail and he is already telling us to steal cable. Dude.
We will walk in fields of dick.
You seriously need to stop quoting those songs when i'm with my parents.
I can't get the smell of burned penis out of the house
If I die tonight, you and your brother can split my money evenly for college only.
all $38?
Randomize
