It only happened twice. Once we used extra virgin olive oil and once I used saliva and brute force.
I looked him in the face and asked if we could stop. he asked why. I said "I can't feel it.". ...I feel bad; I should have faked.
His facebook interests include 'unstrapping velcro'.
there are 5 pictures on my phone from last night, 4 are too blurry to recognize and the 5th is you dangling a twizzler over your mouth, naked.
The smoke alarm went off as soon as we opened the closet.
also bought condoms to give away to people who look like they're about to make a bad halloween decision. I'm like a fairy.
I'm cuddling with a baby pig and drinking champagne right now.
I've decided to dedicate my life to finding out which flavor of Gatorade tastes best after you brush your teeth
I just need three more girls to complete my 'Freak-a-leak' bang list. Know any girls named Zahra, Shavon, or Daronda?
What happens at the gay bar stays at the gay bar. Except that I sold my panties for $100. People should know that.
He broke the bed, AND shit in the closet. What a way to lose his virginity. What a night.
Ugh he's so pretty though. He bit my face at the bar because I tried to steal his ID and I forgave him
Cant really say how it happened but i woke up in the middle of the night and somehow pissed all over connors dad
He asked me for a pic so I sent him a pic of my boyfriends dick.
Apologies that our conversations always turn to butt sex or penis size. I thought we out grew that in our 20's.
Randomize
