i just googled "what is oprah really like?" how do YOU think my night is going?
Stalkers don't have time for showers...it's a full time job
We're official. Living with your boyfriend sounds so much better than fucking your roommate.
Woke up to a bouquet of flowers in my toilet bowl. Drunk hubby loves me.
We carried on a casual conversation about plants while I gave him a hand job.
Cuz last time you told me I was going to be shocked about something you got a hand job from a stripper in canada
yo knit me an eyepatch. but also make it usable as a thong
Then he kissed my hand sensually and said "you're a Black Queen. Don't let anyone tell you different."
Also, fucking on half deflated air mattresses is a great full body work out.
He finger blasted me like an angel dude
That was the night I realized I need to grow up and stop eating mushrooms with strange 40 year old men in convertibles.
I learned so much in Pittsburgh
He told me he felt the only proper thing to do was fuck me to the top of the corporate ladder
Ok next time we are filming it. You bring the camera and I'll buy more socks
just went home with a guy that made fun of me in elementary school. this blow job is not going well for him.
She picked a quarter off the floor, kissed it "for luck" and won the $20,000 jackpot. She bought dinner and stayed sober to drive us home. This is a typical example of a visit with my sister.
Randomize
