She was drunk and kept trying to talk while I was in her mouth. It sounded like the teacher from a Charlie Brown cartoon!
As a driver I hate pedestrians, and as a pedestrian I hate drivers, but no matter what the mode of transportation, I always hate cyclists.
Theres a baby at this concert double fisting pacifiers. shes gunna do great in college.
Ate pizza for the 3rd time today, can't decide if that's disgusting or an amazing aspect of American culture.
Harry Potter. Singing. Sobering up. In that order.
It seems to me that once you begin comparing Jesus to hercules and calling him a super pimp you should put the wine away...
Still had my bottle opener ring on. Started to give him a hand job. LOL
I know he is still a student. I am not asking if his being an underwear model makes it more ethical, just less prosocutable.
I don't remember what you were saying to me in the bathroom. But whatever it was, yes, because i remember nodding a lot.
Got home to the hotel 3hrs ago per texts sent not in english to not a full phone number
Last thing I remember is whiskey shots. My roommate tells me we were there 15min before I decided to run home naked. And we live across from a police station.
Wow. Ok who would waste Game 7 ticket on kids?!
Poor parenting at its best
Tell him you want to lick his face. Didn't work for me but might turn out better for you idk
You just kept telling everyone to call you MFT.. Mother Fucking Tornado.
got laid for being an eagle scout again. 4 more and ill have all my merit badges.
Randomize
