when she started arguing that Girl Talk was in fact a DJ, i knew i could never sleep with her
spencer pratt says his family invinted chess
that kid is like the al gore of hollywood.
I want to be a jewelry store heckler. "Hey man, is she really worth it"
It was all fun and games until Tim shit on the end table
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
And it was confirmed to me that I did in fact cut my girlfriend out of her dress with my sword.
When I find myself drinking from a boot I just go with it and refuse to ask why.
theres a turtle on the table. helping me eat my ramon noodles.
There is a large scratch and bruise about the size of a pizza bagel next to my vagina. Please text back if you know what happened.
We have a bucket list tonight. Not done yet. Gotta climb a building
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Oh, and let me go get some popcorn, watching you make your own decisions should be quite the shitshow.
I have no idea what happened last night, but my pee is neon green.
There's nothing like when u really click with a stripper
I'm gonna cum garlic butter
First dip in a brand new jar of Nutella, and my man’s dick are two things I will not fucking share.
1. I drank goldschlager 2. I fell in a bathtub and hit my head (hard) on a soap dish. 2. I sat in said bathtub talking to a random stranger on vacation from wyoming (who i met at a 711 looking for taquitos) for almost an hour. 3. We got kicked out of said bathtub by owner of bathtub. 4. We had sex.
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