I thought you should know that you passed out in your trash can last night.
Thanks for throwing up on me.
She has HUUUUUUUGE nipples
the girl next to me in class is drawing a guy banging a chick doggy style...its very detailed
just had amazing sex with a girl I got caught with in second grade playing doctor. her examination is finallllly over
She just took off her shirt and jumped in the kiddie pool. We're not leaving.
Just threw up at the bar from the heat. Fun change of pace.
Ran into my prostitute at Costco yesterday. She was with her boyfriend, I was with my kids. Awwwwkward.
We decided to leave the bar after we shattered a glassand then drive to steal a baby pool for our water festivities tomorrow
Good thing I took the morning after pill cuz I pretty much had packaged seamen in me like I was a squirrel saving it for later or something
Please assure him that the flying penis statue is for display purposes only.
Started out playing table tennis then ended up fucking him on the table. Happy cinco de mayo
I woke up in an ill fitting childs tutu this morning and the shower curtain is knocked down. Wtf happened?
As a gentleman whose genital hole is relatively small, you could imagine my reaction
Well I may have gotten laid but I over drafted buying pizza so I think that negates everything
Dennis picked up a 50 year old woman. Then he and Dan got in a fight and jumped out of the limo. No one knows what happened to them.
Randomize
