Its not drinking alone if you got Tiger on the Wii.
she's like the human form of herpes, as soon as you think she's gone for good you have another out break.
We walk out of his house and his dad is there, so I had to meet him and shake his hand pretending that same hand hadn't been down his son's pants five minutes earlier
Hulk Hogan has now convinced 2 women to marry him & I have yet to have a successful or healthy relationship. I am officially depressed.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
This guy just came in and told me how he bought a clock for his cat so his cat can know when he's coming home...
Wouldn't pinatas filled with coke be awesome idea for cinco de mayo?
I'm pretty sure I just overheard my boss call his sperm precious metal...
You kept making that girl eat peanuts, saying they were good for her baby..... I don't think she pregnant
I feel like somebody ate me, then shit me into my bed.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
P.S. I just made up pleasure scepter for the purpose of that last message.
I wasn't a groupie because I didn't carry his guitar home
Your stories are the best. I feel like you're a spy among the heteros. It's not fair.
i may or may not have triedto pee like a boy and then dipped cheese ino the olive oil
Some guy walking down the sidewalk just looked at me and said "hey it's the world champ". How drunk was I on Friday...?
I feel like that xmas present negates everything we were taught as little girls. Putting out DOES pay. God bless us everyone
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