Laughlin, where retired strippers come to die.
Ya know, I lied. I wouldn't mess with him. Not because of the crazy/rehab issues... but because he wears tank-tops.
I'm now in all their contact lists as "Pee-Pee Hands"...
My fave moment of today was you sitting in a hot pink innertube puking into the ocean in front of a lot of children. i would have held your hair back but the ocean did it for you.
ive realized i need to start an "avoid moving in with my parents after graduation" fund
You poured your drink on yourself and then said "it's not a party until I'm wet"
Just found out drinking 6 trays of random shots makes me wake up on a club toilet with my underwear and jeans around my ankles
Birthday are for suffering. TAke some tylenol pm and day-drink tomorrow
I was just the victim of a drive by judging in a horse and buggy.
The fuck? Where?
St. Mary's. Amish people. Too high for this.
When our dicks touched he made a lightsaber noise.
I should be rewarded with oreos for not turning into a raging cunt.
O was like, nah, fuck 50-50. My version of bi is that i'm 80% gay, 20% drug-addled decisions. Apparently he's straight on hallucinogens.
Was that you calling me at 4am asking to borrow a rubber ducky and a tampon?
so you can go out and drink with me then fuck me, or you can come over when i get home and fuck me, or you can come over before and fuck me, or you can come over before and after and fuck me... so many fucking options
At one point did I say I have a doctorate in fuck u?
Randomize
