So I just passed a billboard for "Risque Cafe: Good food and topless women". Fuck. I love SC.
I wish I could still say I don't know that you taste like bad ice cream.
no one will drink with you if you continue to listen to beyonce
no where in the syllabus does it say "no alcoholic beverages allowed".
handjobs have no place on a baseball diamond
Swallowing. Like you said. Lions. Always.
I feel like wearing underwear would just be poor planning
"too many" and "free shots" never belong in the same sentence
You tried to convince me you were sober by doing jumping jacks. For an hour.
The only thing in that hotel room that we didn't fuck on was the roof
you were like "guys ... i think i got fingered while dancing tonight"
our poor poor cab driver
That final makes me want to drink myself into the fetal position
They should just send me home - I'm literally doing nothing but watching porn and listening to pandora.
Just bought shock top, Trojans, double shots and baby oil. At 8 am. While the lady in front of me bitched about her expired coupons.
Like I wasn't going to make out with the hot Australian sitting next to me at the Portland blazer game?
Randomize
