so now she's a stripper
can't say i'm surprised
we just ha sex. he lasted two minutes. i told him to leave because i had class
isnt today saturday?
you can hold your grudge or you can accept the alcoholic treats as a peace offering. your choice
peace be with you.
I want to figure out a way to work "if you suddenly die, I might turn into an extreme hoarders" into my valentines day poem
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
While eating post sex burritos I dripped taco bell sauce on my boob. He licked it off and asked why I hadn't thought of that before.
I brought a guy home then decided no. Took him back to the bar and said "I'm going to drop you where I found you. Have fun"
That's like.....u just dangled a sex carrot in front of me then took it away!
You're 31, how do you still outdrink all these college kids?
Practice, Irish genes, and a lack of desire to live past 40. But mostly practice.
He also has scotch. LOTS AND LOTS of scotch. I think you'd like him!
That is always a wonderful personality trait!
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Not sure how but he broke three of his fingers while giving a blowjob. How does someone that accident prone survive to adulthood?
Just because I stayed up all night betting on Australian Horse Racing doesn't mean I have a gambling program.
so third time im replacing the batteries on my vibrator in 2 months #sosingle....on another note though, black beauty is raring to go
my birth father cheated on his wife with my birth mother. it's literally in my blood to be a home wrecker.
I came home and my mom goes "why are you barefoot and where the hell are your shoes?" and I replied "I have French fries"
My dad accidentally texted me asking if I had weed...
Maybe you should say yes, and you guys can like bond or something...
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