dude my grandmas the shit. she has a sixth grade education and got hit by a car when she was 18. she cant smell.
dude smells like cheese burgers and loose women...... i want his life
I wasn't on board with that statement until "home made dinosaurs"
How are you going to be there by 9am?
Relax I always go to these conferences hung over
You say that like it's a positive quality
The cops just drove by on their loudspeaker going DO NOT DRINK THE WATAHH
I love boston
dude, i turned on the light and asked if they were ok and they STILL didn't stop. Most determined sex EVER.
I distinctly remember seeing your nipples from the deck.
Only catch is you have to sleep in the same bed as me. But no worries, I plan on being in a random guys hotel room every night. So it's essentially yours.
I found your wallet in my underwear drawer......... Don't worry I don't plan on asking any questions
Does this mean I don't have to apologize for launching about 20 bead necklaces at you from the balcony?
sex on the stairs. not our finest idea.
My vagina has made plenty life decisions and I would like to point out very few if not any of them were in my favor.
I once took a shot of lighter fluid.. That's not a secret just a fucked up story
Wait. How did I get engaged last night?
Last night was fun but it wasn't right. I will say that our lives intersected for a brief and intense moment and we will just leave it there.
Randomize
