If you are in NYC and not seeing anyone, you should come fucke me now because:1 i am not in love with you anymore, 2 i am drunk enough where i won't feel the n eed to kisx you awardly to avoid your beard, 3we have unfinished business that i wpn't get -assed unyil orgass have been had, 4 i really really want to
I love how my cats smell like pot.
If Amber from Teen Mom can get a new boyfriend, so can I.
What makeup look will say to the therapist 'I am a smart, well-adjusted young woman'?
It's like I'm in a vicious cycle of noncommittal penis.
Today my mom told me "that's what worries me about you getting blacked out drunk... You don't look pretty"
But Monday we'll be living in a post-apocalyptic hellscape. Also, I'm going to a champagne tasting.
college stoner meal of the day: microwaved nutrigrain bars
I thought it went well, but he just sent me a video of me sucking an icicle on the fire escape of his building with the caption "The ice got more than I did." Somehow I feel like I owe him a blowjob.
I shit you not ... they just advertised a recruiting service for strippers at this concert.
Moral of the story is go have sex with a foreigner and report back to me.
Dude, did you know, your blood is contaminated with over 17 non-beer fluids?
All I have in my new place is coke and a treadmill.. it's workout Wednesday
I despise everything about her. Except her tits.
In other news, my ex fuck buddy is a surprisingly good wingman.
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