"what do u think of parents raising kids to be peeping toms" said guy on bus 2 me
Me liking this guy is the best diet ever. Do I want this cookie...or do I want to get laid.
Some dude at the gas station right now is buying a 30 rack of beast and a can of cat food. Happy Thanksgiving.
I wasn't sure if "you're even prettier in the dark" was a compliment. Hmm.
12 garbage cans filled with water, a beer can floating in every garbage can, 20 ft. apart and you shoot with dodge balls..and thats only how the night began
some guy had a sword and everyones crying..it turned bad..fast.
YOU'RE HIGH AND AT THE GYM OF COURSE YOU FEEL WEIRD
My thighs feel like glass
I am so excited I do not know how I will sleep.
It's like the Christmas morning of dicks
And please let him know I don't normally go off on long rants about feminist theory. That was totally the vodka talking.
My bathing suit kept falling whenever I went under a wave and this kid caught on and kept checking them out so I told him nothing comes free $5 a boob
It wasn't exactly a dick pic. It was more like a body shot with a hint of wiener.
I wanted to say, you're welcome for your orgasms, thanks for not returning the favor, Needledick
You can tell by the way he cuddles that he's got mommy issues
how do you tell someone, in the most complimentary way possible, that they would make an excellent stripper?
He's such a jerk. If only his penis was attached to someone else
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