please tell me I'm in your upstairs bedroom. Just google mapped myself and I have no idea where I am.
so all night Ive been that girl with her tits out @ the bar. I mean I dropped jaws, yo. But in a classy way.
just saw a girl throwing up in a taco bell nacho cantainor going 60 down the highway
You were telling me to give my phone mouth to mouth so it wouldn't die.. Should i be worried for you?
Why would vodka do this to me? I've always been loyal
After we hooked up, he left the room and no one has seen him since last night. That kid redefined hit it and quit it.
seriously who else gets carried home puking from a fucking mary kay party?
He pulled out, and the resulting cumstain on my sheets is in the shape of a fetus. The irony of this is both awesome and terrifying.
Your 13 year old niece and her best friend half carried you from the beach to the pool where you then clung onto a raft and screamed about having pretty hair.
You were stoned out of your mind. We were eating cold cuts and you wouldn't shut up about how it was the wettest meat you'd ever felt in your life.
He came over and said its legs day so put them in the air! Fucked me for 30 minutes and said he had dinner reservations to go to. Well i just ran into him and his friends hammered at Taco Bell
She yelled out "MCDREAMY" mid orgasm
You peed all over his floor and had a bottle popped in your ass when you passed out. Don't tell me I'm "still living in my college days"
She's not allowed to do acid anymore... she started crying because she thought she was an eagle.
If he didn’t pick us up we would have been jerkwards eating sad pancakes at a Denny’s.
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