if i died would you start the facebook group?
There isn't a single transaction on my online bank account that doesn't involve drugs or alcohol since November 12
Id like to know where dora the explorers parents are when she goes on all these crazy ass adventures
Just ducktaped my beer to my bike. See you in ten.
Our halfway to Halloween party needs to never happen again. There were waaayy too many wasted cartoon characters passed out in my living room this morning...
He burnt a smiley face into the screen with a cigarette, peed in my tub and then tried to take off his pants. tried...
He just stared me dead in the eye as he continued to beat off. Then said "you were going to catch me sooner or later".
I can affiliate each flavor of Copenhagen to a different one night stand. I really love Texas.
I got dressed on his front steps, peed on his neighbors lawn, then did a shoeless walk of shame home at 5am...
so I guess I made a note in my phone last night to remind myself not to do shrooms on the cruise ship
I don't think meeting his drug dealers counts as a relationship landmark.
I apparently asked the bartender for a plastic bag and told her I was gunna puke then grabbed two handles from the bar then put the handles in the plastic bag and left.....
I just came rly close to telling a dude that I want to chew on him and there should be an oil painting of his ass up in the louvre before I realized that isn't how flirting is supposed to go
At a bar in the city and the whole place starting singing “Happy Birthday” to someone. Everyone but me. The person next to me leaned over and said, “Why didn’t you sing along?!?” I responded, “I don’t know him. I don’t give a shit if he has a happy birthday.”
What does "mood AF" mean?
Mood as fuck.
Why did you comment that on a video of a gorilla throwing its own shit?
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