Swine flu. Run for my life!
my grandpa was trying to put butter into the pepsi and i'm like "grandpa what are you doing" and he looks down and goes "well i guess that wouldn't taste good anyway"
just saw bouncers outside a coffee shop. beginning to question humanity.
At what point last night did I start ordering doubles?
Right after we had the just friends talk..
I mean, once you get beat with a dildo you can't look at someone the same
ex-cheerleader. ex-gymnast. ex-dancer. i dont even know who to go for tonight
He asked me if I wanted to play "Edouard Mandevan," turns out that's French for Edward Winehands
If I'm going to start compromising my butthole it's going to be for much better drugs than a ventolin
I remember caressing his hands asking him if he moisturized, then i proceeded to put his hands on my face
no body wants to do anything today cause it's too cold, but a guy can only masturbate so many times a day. Ya know
I woke up with a thorn in my belly button. A THORN!
Well. I hope my dad likes whatever sweater stoned me picks out.
I like that you're more concerned about how I would find the time to clone you, than the fact that I have your blood.
He listens to me complain and in return I send him naked pictures. It's a win win situation
Give me a few. Gonna ride the rollercoaster.
Randomize
