and while your girlfriend wears your relationship pants, i'll be wearing my ecstasy pants
I really couldn't tell if she was disgusted with the fact that I yacked on her shoes, or if she was about to do the same to me.
24 hours later and my vagina is still tingling. That good.
do you think theyll let us bring mariachis to the strip club?
She is ok w me having sex for money. Just gotta find rich grandmas.
No, I left myself a half eaten cucumber and a beer next to my head, pointed at it and said 'you're breakfast' and then passed out.
I deem it safe for us to drink together again.
They dropped the charges?
Yeppers. Come drink beers.
You just sat there and yelled "I JUST WANT TO RUB MY NIPPLES"
I let my daddy issue flag fly free last night.
This feeling I'm having... is it love or a combination of alcoholism and unprotected rough sex
YOU BETTER NOT BE SHAVING YOUR LEGS RIGHT NOW IM TRYING TO HELP YOU
I should become a firefighter. Who uses his cock to fight fires. Like a Superhero.
Am I supposed to get so horny by looking at your dick that I start orgasming uncontrollably
I find celibacy oppressive. Huge waste of my time and talents.
Yeah, so if you ever try to steal it, just know my tongue's been on it in several occasions. All over it.
Randomize
