lesson #67 learned in college: a three day old margarita, is still a margarita.
just next time i won't let coke make me think I'm superman and drink a shit ton.
There is something about drinking on a golf course and getting with younger women that just really makes me feel at home.
I was wondering where I've seen this kid then I remembered I saw him doing lines of blow of his gf's leg while she was sleeping last week.
I know it's pride week, but your asshole is just never supposed to taste like banana.
Nothing like an alcohol-fueled, 6-hour-long hunt for weed--complete with occasional breaks for sex.
Never play truth or dare with a girl who carries a dildo in her purse. I'll never go to a Denny's again.
I mean, you got a giant dick. I've seen lawn gnomes that are smaller.
She was doing hand motions and used straws from drinks like those airport light batons to have me back my "747 jumbo dick" towards you.
I settled on "Merry Christmas! Btw you may have chlamydia". I thought a nice holiday greeting would soften the blow
Just for once I'd like my first interaction with a new GP to not be an obvious sex injury.
Um I got a ride home from the bar with two random boys and one tried to bang me on my parents riding mower
He knocked me over backwards in my chair. I had a beer in each hand. Didn't spill a drop.
Do you think he’ll fall in love with me if I tell him I have a nickname for his penis
Legal advice please. Can you sue someone for jerking off to photos of you?
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