Great. Don't do shady things like that ok?
Just spun two beer bottles and Placed them in my pockets perfect... I feel like the clint eastwood of drunks
Just got back from my 9:00 am class to find my roommate soaking her lifesaver gummies in vodka so she can have them for a snack in class later.
I've slowly been stuffing french fries down his pants. I'm at 31 and he hasn't even noticed.
We had to leave the bar because you were trying to show the bartender your boobs for water.
I refuse to go to this wedding alone, or sober. Practice drunk-walking in heels and a Bridesmaid dress begins tonight.
Found him fucking some random drunk chick in the bathrrom at the blue lep with a beer in each hand. had to give him props.
'Twas I. Do you have any idea what it's like waking up to see you sent a text inviting someone to partake in "sexy rumpus?"
He just told me what he wants for his birthday. "a noise complaint" he also said he wants to be the cause of all the noise but he won't be the one making the noise.
That's where the buck stops? Buying girlfriends online? THAT is where you draw the line?!
Dan I was a mess I made out with a 40 yr old who gave me a wad of cash for Christmas. Like wtf
You fed me pizza off a sword last night.
I just gave a bum a ride back to his bench. Columbus is weird but I like it.
I respect your roll as DD and there're am required to respect your vehicle
Hey man, he's too drunk to remember what you said. What drugs are we buying and when should we expect them?
Randomize
