my dad just told me that a lesbian kissed my mom at a bar last year
wake up i wanna do it froggy style
My mom was talking about how protein is essential to strong bones and then I told her, I'll give you protein.
How unfortunate for your Mom.
You made eat vitamins until I threw up
some gay kid said he wanted to blow him because "his eyebrows told a story"
he asked if i wanted their team name to be " Amandas angels" or " Fuk budies" either way an intermural softball team of all my hook ups from spring semester is just depressing. convenient but depressing
I've been alternating between telling people I was mauled by a bear or hit by a car to explain the massive unexplainable bruise on my leg. Slightly more worried now that the car idea is believable.
We just laid there in bed together, petting his dick and repeating, "IT FEELS LIKE VELVET!!!"
The ranger made you choose between a ticket and pouring all the beer out since it was a state park.
I've never seen you that close to tears as you poured out 30 beers.
Watched twin sisters make out thought it was amazing sick on their part but legit to watch
at first i said "no rollerblading if I'm going to be drunk," but we all know how that went
She told me she was the Publishers Clearing House of Dicks. Two dicks a day, everyday for life.
My boobs keep hanging out of this shirt. I think thats the style I'm going for tonight
And I mean really who loses their phone in a tree
you know you need to get laid when: getting wrestled to the ground in a self-defense class turns you on....p.s. this is a booty call
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