shes wearing a jean skirt, its frayed. i got this
This girl has a second refrigerator that she uses JUST for liquor, her kitchen chairs are kegs AND she can grill. I'm not coming back.
A valiant attempt to obtain a backhoe was made
we convincced her parents we were only wasted meanwhile theire faces were morphing into one and i swear there was a reindeer in the background
I can't be 100% sure of this but I think tonight was the first time I told a middle aged woman holding a baby to go fuck herself
Model at car show < day drinking with your favorite sister. Get your head in the fucking game Christopher.
Just told my shrink " this was a year for whoring around"
Everyone was soo nice and genuine.. Then again it coulda just been the drugs.
This is what we get for finishing a whole box of Franzia by ourselves
So, if you eat too many protein bars, you will shit your pants. This I learnt today..... at work.
Oh, now I remember why I deleted your number. You're kind of a dick. Please delete mine.
I almost rear ended this hot guy driving a Porsche Cayenne just so I could get his phone number
You went into my bathroom put on my bathrobe.. Said excuse me then went in my front yard and started yelling who ate my whopper..
Legit sprained my cooter. No joke. Icing her down as we speak.
Looks like the opera singer hook up is paying off. Ran into the MILF from 407 and she said “your lady friend sounded like a very lucky girl.”
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