Why did I cab home last night?
Because you said you were drunk, sad, and someone called you a hooker.
i think i just saw hanson at the grocery store. one might have been a girl. hard to tell. lets call that one taylor.
Not good, Ive never been this late. We need to talk.
Error 1684C: You're last text was undeeliverable. Subscriber is our to the aera.
Turns out you're obligated under man law to share any passwords you may have for porno sites
Is that what they're teaching u at that bar review class?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
There is something just so refreshing and wonderful about an uninterrupted morning poop in the office.
I sharted in my sleep... I didnt even think that was possible.
For once I'd like to have a Taco Sunday without having some random drunk chick flee my house half naked and in tears.
That would explain his violent outburst while watching barefoot contessa...
I'm going to be blunt here. I don't actually care what you're doing tonight. I just need to know if I need to shave or not.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Sorry for drunk singing "love hurts" to you at 3 am.
ALL CAPS CUZ ITS SERIOUS SHAME.
Dude, get out of Andrea's vagina and call me back
I have never thoroughly inspected the geometry of my nipples until now. How do I fix this?
I kinda wanna drive through the Gator bar parking lot and seeing if my panties are on they ground, they should be right next to my pride...
We've been fucking like crazy ever since she quit her job..ive been running errands all day to stay out of the house and give my dick a day of rest
I hate my life now
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