Well, its 5:30am and you haven't let me in, I guess ill go home
Life is so much better after having sex.
My gaydar just like overheated and exploded watching the male figure skaters on the olympics
This glow in the dark vibrator will get me through this power outage
Question. Will thrown up fruit loops go down the shower drain?
I wiped my mouth this morning with a pine tree branch after I threw up on the side of the road. Tis the season
Trust me I was high for like 5 years...I got this
She screams like she's just fallen out of a helicopter when she cums.
My Midnight Kiss was a Big Mac.. Happy New Year
You told her you double majored in Geology and Telekinesis. When has that line ever worked for you?
So basically he is jobless, a potential serial killer, and has poor taste in music? We simply don't have time for that.
I can see their wedding vows now: 'Til basicness do us part
...I just added shower water to my vodka on ice\n#sendhelp
they are cutting me off...little do they know I am making a 75 yr old man i named Herbert buy me drinks now...no shame at 11 am...
You smoked too much and passed out, didn't you?
You know me so well.
Randomize
