THE most awkward situation I have EVER been in
Also, I just threw up a little in my mouth and had to act like everything was totally fine.
I meant the "stage" gay, Not the "bend me over and call me Gary" gay.
Your dick is once again the conversation topic.
My student's should feel privledged to see me tuesday after the amount of alcohol I consumed this weekend.
I'm drinking Dom Perignon from the bottle with a straw just to piss of some french dude.
we tried to steer you away from them but you just kept yelling 'i need dick' and going back. sorry.
I'm too tired to go all the way tonight, especially if you're going to quote Katy Perry at me during
sitting in the bathroom telling some girl to keep puking or she will die. while holding a beer. nursing school rocks.
Top hats and gin. This is why I love day drinking.
I had phone sex with a retiree last night. This is not how I envisioned my 20s going...
When did angry sex become our thing?
Getting drunk in an Applebee's pray for me
Lord god protect this child
Just because I'm sleeping with him doesn't mean I'm in love with him, it means that I want to have sex with someone who isn't a serial killer.
They walked into the house to see me in my neon pink knee high socks trying to pull you out of the cat carrier by your legs...
You smell like a steam boat captain.
Whatever your on right now, I want.
Randomize
