i have a bunch of little boys around me trying to hit on me
dont be selfish, show some boob
Just met a girl...She is complaining why on facebook you can't have more then one "open relationship"
I dont know how i feel about her from a moral standpoint...
How did the whale quest end up? I saw u hit a little snag when the first one heard you call her that.
370HSSV 0773H read that upside down
what are you doing with your life
College freshman give noticeably better blowjobs by the 5th week of the semester.
I broke the girls bed. I will not apologize about bragging.
I HAVE A BLACK EYE FROM A DILDO!! IM GETTING MARRIED TOMORROW! THIS IS NOT A MISSUNDERSTANDING!
There was a cop outside the house so we just put the alcohol in this watermelon
Almost bit the guy's hand who sits in front of me because he was stretching. That. Bored.
I got laxative. And a toothbrush. Because who wants to buy just laxative on a Friday night?
Is it weird that i want a guy to ask me to homecoming by spelling it out in meatballs?
THATS VERY WEIRD
He asked me if I wanted to blow his whistle and proceeded to pull out an actual whistle.
coming down from speed on a 5 hour flight home from vegas is not a valid reason for calling off work the next day
so i said i had a yeast infection
She left a cookie cake on my porch, and the frosting reads "I'm sorry". She left me an I'm-sorry-for-punching-you-in-the-face cake.
I'm not saying it wasn't great. I'm just saying sleeping with a gassy, depressed,45 year old mother was a different experience. Would do it again though.
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