i don't have parental supervision. i'm gonna start accepting candy from strangers now.
I decided to name my penis gatorade...is it in you?
you really should stop posting my phone number on craigslist as tranny seeking tranny, last night i answered at family dinner and almost choked on my hot dog
do you not see the irony in that??
I think we should see other people.
Already working on it.
I'm using process of elimination to determine which of our neighbors i fucked last night.
Had a student tell me he misses the old Four Loko. He's in 7th grade. No one is allowed to claim I started drinking too young ever again.
Well he has that kind of carefree attitude that comes from a big penis
How many of my tattoos need to be visible for an outfit to be considered "see-through"?
I used the hope and guess method to figure out who I slept with last night.
Also I like this area. Lots of places for me to get tacos.
I gave him blue balls & ate the last slice of pie so the chances of a second date are slim...
Totally just got spotted hitting the bowl by someone else hitting a bowl. We gave each other a head nod
I JUST PETTED A FUCKING SQUIRREL. A SQUIRREL.
May I the honors of taking your dick tonight?
The honor would be all mine.
Definitely didn't just make out with a guy the same height as me just because we wanted to see what it would be like to not have to reach up....
Randomize
