ugly people sure do ruin things
We're like two naked peas in a sex pod.
mom just called and i was mid bong hit but i answered anyways coughing and sounding rough she the apologized for waking her little angel up. its 2PM
I smoked weed with pregnant girl. I'm going to hell.
Should I tell her she gave me head in the kitchen while I was eating a cupcake or would that hurt her dignity too much?
I never want to hear the words unlimited shots for boobs in the same sentence ever again.
you cant ever make fun of my bong's stick on moustache again. its the reason the cop let me keep it and my weed.
So I just did the math and everything in this room except the computer and my clothes has been in my vagina
Then he rubbed shampoo all over my arm and shouted, "Garnier FUCK THIS."
She pinched my nipples out of nowhere as I was about to come... I think I found god
Being sober is boring. Tomorrow I'm def bringing wine and my vibrator to work. Might even booty call that hot guy on floor 5. Making the last week at this job legendary.
One of my life goals was never to see an uncircumcised dick. I guess that's out the window now.
There's always a silver lining when massive voluptuous tits are involved
If I don't singlehandedly make your gf realize she needs to straighten the fuck up or ruin your relationship before I leave I have failed you as a friend.
I wasn’t trying, but work got a lot easier and more fun once he starred flirting with me and looking at my ass
Randomize
