I just know... :) goodntight
Whoops, meant "goodnight", but the other is true too.
wake up i wanna do it froggy style
You two kept repeating the same thing over and over. It was like looking after retarded pull-string dolls.
The higher i get, the less gay he looks, and the more i want to make out with him. This is dangerous.
I was wearing my get used bookstore shirt when we fucked. Ironic yet appropriate.
after the fucking you spent twenty minutes vomiting naked and shaking your dick at my roommates. luckily, i don't remember that, or i'd have to be really insulted.
Ok get your liver ready for the weekend. Harry Potter Drinking Game Marathon is a go. BYO liquor of choice, rule cards at the door. I wanna see some Hagrid level drinking out of you, Muggle.
Nothing kills the mood like him going to slap my ass and he hits his balls at the same time
We took a walk on the beach after the bar, he held my hand and kissed me. And then I peed under a lifeguard stand. It was so romantic.
It's gonna be like a sexual version of A Christmas Carol in my house in a few days.
Is it day drinking when the suns up like when does that start
asking for a friend
I'm at that stage of drunk where just imagining having sex makes me motion sick.
I hate when pubes grow back. My mons is a warzone.
just learned i can hear my fish chewing his food WHILE HES IN HIS BOWL. im going to have to call you back.
You're like a care bear with a big cock & a sexual prowess that would put the mighty Thor to shame.
Randomize
