What would you have done with a 40 foot neon parrot anyway?
Somewhere at this very moment, a group of drunk white girls are singing dont stop believing.
I kinda wish he had even a slight idea of the sex I'm planning for his departure. I'm literally studying for it.
I wish I could attach your penis to someone I like more than you.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Just saw a field sobriety test being administered at 730 am, I now know I do not have a drinking problem
don't worry i just saved a song to my personal usb drive to give to the dj at the bar. he's playing old school jlo whether he likes it or not.
I wouldn't blame my organs if they just decided to quit working after this weekend
Girl, he can't tell you not to take a bump just because you work tomorrow. You're on a wedding diet, remember?
C'mon pople!!! THursday afternoon isnot gonna drinkin itself!!!
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Either that or he's gagged in a strangers trunk right now.
Well I suppose either way he's learning a pretty tough lesson right now.
Since when do you jog?
Since hot shirtless guy that lives across the street jogs
How do you initiate sexting are u supposed to be like yo I'm peeing and eating a clif bar and texting and thinking about you naked all at the same time
He talked for 3 hours straight on how his dad is a dentist how fuck do you think my night was
It's not even 8pm on a Friday and I've already got a guy to tell me how big his penis is. Watched anything good on Netflix lately?
He bought me pizza and bourbon and played scrabble with me. So naturally I slept with him.
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