Holy shit I just stopped short on route 18 because I thought my gps was saying I had to turn right in 11 feet. After almost hitting the guardrail I realized I had to turn in 11 miles.
Fuck I'm high.
i just identified you from a description of your pipe
remember earlier when I said I was over sex with random boys? take it back take it back take it back
I'm crawling around naked in my room looking for my hairbrush. Just thought I'd put that image in your head.
My Grampa even called her out for being a cock block at the bar...it was that serious
So yeah you need to stop having near death experiences at McDonalds.
And I would just like to take the time to say my boobs look great today.
Best surprise in my car. A cookie, sliced kiwi and the rest of my margarita. Work is going to be awesome.
When I see myself in tank tops and push up bras I seriously wonder why I'm not President.
So my nipple piercings were only $20 because it's breast cancer awareness month. Fuck yes!
She was into my hawaiian shirt and id never made out with a dinosaur... I feel like it worked out for everyone
yeah she's crazy. she fought a possum in my alley because it was "being a cagey little cunt"
Same I threw up in 3 different cities already today
I saw his new girlfriend. She was flashing people, short and kinda chubby. I was happy with my life after that.
Little girl was fucking around on the train and completely ran her head into a pole. Totally burst out laughing as she cried. Her mom was not amused. I don't think I should be a Mom. EVER.
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