Its not drinking alone if you got Tiger on the Wii.
"what do u think of parents raising kids to be peeping toms" said guy on bus 2 me
the "happy anniversary" cake for my mom and dad is about to turn into the "yeah, that's a hickey, welcome back from italy" cake.
Just saw a group of asian tourists in safari outifts bow in thanks to the starbucks guys. And no Im not high.
I think i found piece of your tooth in my dick this morning when i took a shower
I feel like I've been slapped by Gods icy cold dick of vengeance.
Freedom, beauty, truth, and love to all. I also probably have syphilis
I don't know if I want to cry scream puke or go somewhere and drink more. This is such a weird emotion.
Heed the warning of the ghost of Oktoberfest present: German beer is soooooooo much better than our watered down children's piss. also lost all my clothes and am wearing lederhosen the rest of the trip.
Dont tell her I prefer to have an aura of mystique surronding me and my penis.
I want what they have, but in the meantime I have a whole bottle of rum to which I'm quite devoted
I'm super stoned watching the vatican smoke cam. Come over.
If my bootycall doesn't bring over a Baconnator, I swear to fucking God, I'm not letting him in. The hunger is that real. Forget his Persian dick.
I got to walk around for eight hours wearing power armor and acting camp. No way I wouldn't love it.
Me and my dad hot boxed a hotel bathroom... That's what I call father son bonding
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