Just an fyi, teatherball while wasted might be the hardest sport ever.
He's been dancing to the same Rob Thomas album in his room for almost 8 hours now. Please never, ever bring extacy over here again.
Leave it to us to have a family reunion in a bar bathroom
I think it says something about my life when I start picking up girls while im in rehab. And I don't think it's good.
Right now he's sitting in the chair pointing to me to go away. He's trying to have quiet time with his penis.
First highlight of the semester: campus safety caught me peeing in the dirt parking lot by kappa. Then as they were about to write me up, they recognized me, laughed, and left.
I now have a full length bright red cape in my possession. Best sex trophy ever.
So, my love of dick may have landed me in a cult. On the bright side, I now have a discount at Spencer's.
This hangover is what we deserve after that level of debauchery.
ive decided that just saying "yes" when people assume I am something other than Caucasian will highly benefit my love life. last night I was native.
Scientific fact: if he makes a face like a demonic dog when he's fucking you, makes it easier to fuck without feelings.
You woke up in between the boxspring and the matress in a random dorm room.
I don't even think NICOLE made a fool of herself last night...
your aware she lit herself on fire, right?
I wrote notes to myself all over my body. "don't yell at cops again" "Cody stole your phone" "you kissed Cody" "vodka shots are bad for your liver" and "cactus pretty" WTF????
PROBABLY?!! And here I was, about to buy you a glow-in-the-dark banana-flavored cock ring... Now I "probably" won't.
Randomize
